Welcome to The Sounds Between, the writing blog of Dominic E. Lacasse. I write short stories, scenes, and stream-of-thought narratives of several genres. Please take a look; if you like it, I am happy.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Unfinished Horror Project

Writer's Note: An unfinished project, most written some time ago, though I've been getting back to it now and I expect to have more soon.

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Mr. Aaron Davis
Bethel, North Dakota
December 19, 1884

My dearest son, Samuel,

A terrible thing has happened these last months. I suspect that I will not see you again, nor will I be alive when the ice and snow thaws in the spring. I have had time to come to terms with this; time is all I have now. I am, I know, the only one left, and as you know, problems of my own leave me confined to this damnable wheel-chair, unable to provide for myself as man was meant. So I know I will not survive this winter– His will be done.

As I noted above, however, I am the last living citizen of the town of Bethel. As such it falls upon me to provide a record of the events, should providence one day sweep this place clean of the wickedness which has so recently brought it to ruin. Your family, my loving wife and your three beautiful sisters, are in the arms of our blessed Lord now, Samuel, and so I address my memoir to you. I will try to explain as much as I can in the time I have left, though I cannot give reason for this thing nor comprehend its work. I fear some great evil in us has called down His fury. Whatever has happened here, know that I have always been proud of you, and that I will be watching over you until we meet in the promised land.

It breaks my heart to recall it, especially to you, my son. My sweet wife was the first to fall victim to whatever happened here. There is some perverse irony at work here– my wife the first, and I the last. Would that our roles could be reversed! Your mother was strong, but not strong enough to resist this. I witnessed her death and it gives me pain every moment of every day. I want nothing more than to be together with her again, but here I remain– the only man alive, left to wile away the hours and days as the last of them all, surrounded by the dead, listening to the howling wind, waiting to die. An awful death like that of your mother, the drawn-out wasting away of your father– that these were the only possibilities speaks to the terror of these times; that all received the former, and only I the latter, speaks to the inscrutability of God’s will.

I was there when the Cerberus germ (as it came to be called) got its start. I was walking with my wife in mid-autumn, she pushing my chair down one of the paths where the river forms the border of my farm. These were paths that I had cut in my younger days, before my affliction, and you helped me, Samuel, before you left Bethel. I was thinking of this when your mother suddenly gave a loud cry– an animal had bitten her ankle. It was like nothing I’d seen before. It was very small, about the size of a mouse, with similar fur, but with no legs or appendages of any kind. It had a large head, but it seemed to be all mouth. I could detect only tiny black pinpricks for eyes. Your mother was kicking desperately, trying to rid herself of the creature, but it had locked onto her tightly. I saw it seem to swell slightly and then tighten its body as it clung to her ankle. It gave a single ecstatic shake and stopped moving, curled up on itself. When she saw this she stopped kicking and I was able to reach for the creature. When I pulled on it, it dislodged easily in my hand and lay motionless in my palm. It was quite dead.

Your mother said she could go on and we went back to the house. I kept the animal with me, balled up inside my hat so as to keep it out of sight. Your mother said she had some soreness in her ankle, but I thought that this was to be expected. As to the nature of the creature itself, I tried not to speculate until I could get a better look at it, although my first assumption was that it was some kind of rodent, deformed somehow, likely mad and near death when we crossed its path.

As soon as we returned to the house I sent your sister Deborah to fetch Dr. Stuart. He examined the wound and declared that it was only a small bite, and that as long as it remained clean, it would heal on its own. He made a bandage for your mother’s ankle and then the doctor and I examined the animal in more detail.

As I mentioned before, it seemed to have no arms or legs, though its matted, grey hair could have been hiding vestigial stumps of the kind sometimes found in other animals when the young are born with such defects. If it was a mouse, then its face was also unnaturally flattened and its mouth extraordinarily large in size. It had no tail. The doctor and I both agreed that we’d not seen the likes of such an animal before, but what of it? Strange monsters are born all the time in the wild. We thus passed the incident off as a curiosity which could not be fully explained but which was not, in the grand scheme of things, so absurd. I burned the creature’s body in the stove and thought no more of the situation until your mother’s condition worsened.

Two or three days later, the wound did not show signs of healing. Your mother’s ankle was swollen and ached constantly. I feared what I thought then was the worst; that the creature that had bitten her had been rabid or otherwise diseased, and that she was having a reaction. Again I sent for Dr. Stuart, who examined the wound and did not seem pleased with what he saw. He gave your mother a pill of some sort or another and replaced the bandage after cleaning the wound. Leaving her with the girls, he gestured for me to follow him outside where he told me, in hushed tones, that if the swelling did not go down in a few days, he would have to consider an amputation. The wound could be serious, could develop into gangrene. My heart sank in my chest at the thought of her having to go through with such a terrible thing. I felt helpless and for a time could not speak. The doctor reassured me that in all likelihood the swelling would go down, before reminding me to fetch him again if it did not. There was nothing else I could do.

We kept her off her feet as much as possible over the next few days. The girls were always helpful and did all the chores. They were smart girls, and I do not expect that they did not, on their own, reach the same conclusion that had been grimly proposed to me by the good doctor regarding your mother’s convalescence. They remained bright and cheerful, though they must have worried for themselves as well, forever bound to serve their invalid father and amputated mother. They said nothing about it and seemed delighted to help. At night we all prayed, together, that everything would turn out well. They were good girls.

The ankle did not get well. The next day it was swollen larger and was giving constant pain. It was black and blue. We changed the bandage and cared for her but she was feverish. The girls and I exchanged furtive, ominous glances over her. Nothing was said. I decided to give it one more day, in blind hope that perhaps this was the peak of a troubling condition, that it would from here on begin to heal. But the next morning, it was worse than before. Your mother was sweating unnaturally and was deeply feverish. I sent one of the girls for cold water and another to fetch the doctor; if this thing had to be done, to save her life, then it would have to be done.

As we waited for the doctor, I got out of my chair and cradled your mother’s head, wiping it with a cloth and the cold water fetched from the well. I tried to calm her, but she was delirious and speaking gibberish. I held her and waited.
When the doctor arrived, he took one look at your mother and his face sank. His eyes met mine and I knew what was going to happen, there was no doubt in the doctor’s eyes. I nodded, feeling ready to collapse. The doctor quietly herded the girls out into the kitchen and told them they needed to leave the house, to go visit a friend. They obediently did as they were told, though there is no doubt in my mind that they knew what would happen. When they were out of the house I began to cry, holding your mother’s head in my lap.

The doctor slowly walked back into the room. He said nothing. I covered your mother’s eyes as he opened a black leather case and retrieved the saw. I sat mortified, holding your mother’s arms, and the doctor did the deed. Two hundred have died since this happened, all of my friends and family except you; I live as the last man in Gomorrah now as the snows begin to fall outside my house, but never in my life have I experienced such horror.

Over the next few weeks we all tried to make do as best we could. Your mother was withdrawn, as one would expect, but her fever had gone down and she seemed to be regaining her strength. We spoke rarely, merely did what we could to get by. She used my chair when she wanted to move around; we had intended for her to get a crutch when she was fully recovered, but the doctor warned us that it would be a long process. We were all simply satisfied that she still lived. There had been a terrible thing that had happened, and it had hurt us all, but we felt as if we could overcome and move on. That is what we thought.

However, the Lord was not done testing us, was only beginning with Bethel. Your mother’s condition, though it looked hopeful at first, soon began to decline. Her breath became labored and ragged. She could barely keep her eyes open most of the time. She stopped talking altogether after a time and would not even answer questions. Each time a new development in her sickness appeared, Deborah would run for the doctor, who would come and examine the situation and look at the wound where the amputation had taken place. He said that such behavior could be the result of an infection, but that the amputation did not appear to be infected. He was perplexed. Every time he came he would come up with some new hypothesis, only to find that it was not borne out by any of his tests. I fear the man almost lost his mind worrying about the poor woman.

She began to waste away before our eyes, and there was nothing to be done for it. Your sisters and I cared for her as best we could, but still she rarely opened her eyes and never spoke. She was still capable of moving her limbs, but did so in no directed manner, her arms and legs simply flopping occasionally like cold fish.
Eventually the doctor decided that it would be best if we took her in to Bismarck. I eagerly agreed, feeling that at last there was something to be done about the poor woman. The voyage would have to be done immediately; it was drawing on winter and the doctor feared she might not make the voyage in the cold air. The girls made a stretcher for her and we set out for the wagon, the doctor and two of the girls carrying your poor mother, the other girl attending to my wheel-chair. I felt like a hopeless child.

Before we got to the wagon, we passed a certain tree in the yard. I’m sure you know the one of which I speak, directly in the center of the field between the house and the barn. As we passed under this tree your mother suddenly gave a moaning cry, like nothing I’d ever heard before. We had not heard her voice for days and this sound shook us all to the core. We stopped in sudden surprise, staring at her. Her eyes slowly slid open. They were cloudy and dim. They seemed to seek out the branches of the tree under which we passed, but they did not focus. There was a brief moment of silence, the most ominous heavy silence I have ever encountered. And again she gave a ragged, unearthly moan. Her limbs began to twitch and her back arched violently. She began to shake and the doctor and the girls were unable to keep her on the stretcher. She collapsed to the ground, shuddering and kicking. She rose for one moment on her knees and stretched her face up to the heavens, and then, dear God, the sight I have had burned into my memory ever since, her mouth dropped open and with a guttural, violent groan a massive cloud of black particles erupted from her mouth and issued like a plume of smoke into the sky.

She collapsed on the ground. She gave a last spastic shudder and we heard her final breath escape her lungs. A trickle of blood, thick with the black spores, dripped from her lips. There was sudden uproar among us– the girls wailing loudly, crowding around their mother, holding her head, her hands– the doctor, his face a mask of shock and terror, huddling over her body and bellowing at the girls to step back so that he could test for signs of life– I, stunned, left helpless and alone, staring in dismal mute despair, tears pouring silently down my face as I watched this grim spectacle and tried to believe it was a nightmare and nothing more.

The doctor and the girls were peppered with the black seeds. I could see it clinging to their arms and faces. They seemed not to notice. I saw with abject sorrowful apathy that my clothes and skin also bore the seeds. They even clung to the branches of the tree under which your mother had died. On that day under the tree next to our house, the Cerberus germ started its life. The thing, the godforsaken disease that killed this town, it used her body to carry itself. I comfort myself by thinking that she was truly dead before this happened. Remember, my son, that the primal breath given by God to man is that of language and thus human wisdom. When that accursed blackness took her speech, she was dead in mind, waiting in paradise while the germ played with her mortal shell like a puppet. She was innocent and pure, and was not tainted by the foulness that claimed her life. Always remember that.

It was much later when we learned of the full effects of the Cerberus germ. We attended to all the proper procedures for your mother. We buried her in the town cemetery, of course, and grieved over her. It was as though I had lost the sun. I turned to drink, and was myself an ogre to my children and to my friends. I feel deeply sorry for it but it is the truth.

The doctor consulted all of his books and found absolutely no record of a sickness like the one that had afflicted your mother. At one point several days later, he had saddled his horse and resolved to ride to Bismarck to consult some professional acquaintances, and I encouraged him in this task, but the Lord in His mercy sent a sudden violent blizzard such that the doctor had to turn back after only a few miles. It is often I have given thanks that the doctor was not allowed to reach Bismarck, for if the germ should spread beyond Bethel, there is no saying what could happen.

It was shortly after this that the children and the doctor began to experience symptoms. We had not, until this point, known that the thing was contagious. Much like your mother had recovered for a time after the amputation, the girls and the doctor showed no symptoms for almost a week after the terrible event under the tree. The spores had washed off easily. I am no man of science but it seems to me that they were only a means of delivery, much like the dandelion’s seed, and that whatever germ the form took was dependent on the black plumes only to get them to a host.

As I say, the girls and the doctor all came down almost at the same time with symptoms with which I was already familiar. There was a fever, their breath grew slow and labored. They spoke less and less, seemed exhausted all the time. I attended to them as best I could. My soul had turned to ice. My wife was gone and now my children were ill with what seemed the same condition. I went to visit the doctor as often as possible but had less and less time. I spent my days shut inside my house with my daughters, telling them stories from their brief childhood even when they seemed not to be listening, and waited for what I feared was inevitable.
Soon enough, they stopped talking altogether. I continued to wait, with chilling certainty, trying to feed them, all the while feeling like a man trapped in the most morbid and dismal dream, as if I were the new and permanent guest of despair incarnate.

In time, the same gruesome expectoration that took place in your mother claimed each of your sisters, one by one. I sat with their bodies for a day, the black spores milling about like dust before breaking apart and vanishing. I wanted to die. I wanted whatever had happened to my family to happen to me, for I knew it was only a matter of time, and I had nothing left to live for. On one terrible day I carried the bodies of your poor sisters outside one at a time, nestled in my lap like when they were babies, slowly wheeling my chair and sobbing. I laid them next to one another with hands together and burned their bodies, for I am an invalid, and cannot on my own dig graves. I knew it was only a matter of time for the rest of the town but felt no need to hasten the downfall of any particular citizen by asking for his help giving my daughters their final rest. I never went back to see the doctor. I heard he died the next day.



I have been dreaming much since the death of the townspeople. I do not know if it is idleness which prompts this, the lack of human contact which draws the mind toward its own illusory creations, or whether the tragedy which struck the town and my family is causing me to refuse rest in the face of the enormity of this diseased reality. Whatever the cause, where I once slept soundly, I now rest but fitfully, waking often to the impossible silence and darkness of the town, feeling stripped not only of my ambulatory functions but of all sense and feeling aside from that of my clammy skin on the bedclothes. Often in my dreams there is a figure I do not recognize, always just out of sight. I feel as though it is watching me, but when I focus my attention on it, the image blurs, or my gaze is drawn elsewhere, and when I look back, the figure has departed again, slipped behind an empty house, or lost in the darkness of the forest.

Tonight I dreamed of a story my mother told me when I was young. She read to me from the fairy tales of the brothers Grimm, from a volume I remember well; the binding was broken and mended several times over, the once-rich green covers lightened to near-grey from age. I knew every story in that book practically by rote, but the one which truly held me was not a fantasy, but had its basis in truth. The story I dreamed of last night was that of the Pied Piper of Hameln. How I chilled as a child to the thought of that man who many say was the devil himself, all prancing in his multihued finery and lilting on his pagan pipe. A sickly-sweet nightmare, the memory of joy, rotten inside. Last night I witnessed the day when he returned for his due, dancing up and down the streets on that feast day of Saints John and Paul, the children wrenching themselves from the arms of their pleading parents and dancing glassy-eyed after the man into a cave across the valley. To kidnap, to steal people away in the night or to capture them as prisoner, is enough to shock the spirit; to lead them willingly away, by some wicked means to sway their own volition, is an entirely more obscene thing. It is an evil that spreads, like the curse which has lately stricken this town, and taken for its own not only the body, but the very words and breath of life, and had the sacrilege and the blasphemous daring to make participants of its victims.

Of the children of Hameln: Their subsequent history is a question not resolved, left open still to the story's varied tellers. Most say that they were led away through a passage in the mountain, brought out to the other side a new nation, perhaps in corrupt pagan imitation of the Jews and their holy guide Moses. There are tales of peoples in Moravia and Transylvania whose customary attire is of bright and varied colors and whose language is a joining of the local tongue and an elder German. Others say the children were led to slaughter in the Crusades, or that they were simply murdered and left for their parents to find in the fields and forests. It is said that only two children were spared from whatever fate the Piper laid on Hameln that day; one blind, unable to see the children to follow them out of town, the other lame, without the ability to dance along to doom or rebirth with the others. Am I that lame child? It is said that both spent the rest of their days bemoaning that their weaknesses kept them from following the others, so powerful was the sorcery of the Piper. This I do not doubt. I too spend my days now agonizing over the fact that only I remain, wishing to be with my loved ones, pleading with God to remove me to them, though I know it cannot be long now. Beyond it all is the question that never leaves me, the question which causes me to stir at night and invent apparitions in multicolored silken finery- why was I chosen to be the only witness to this event? And what does God want of me that he leaves me amid all this death, to see it all as my food grows short, to listen in utter isolation as the poisoned wolves open graves by night?

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